Sunday, November 9, 2014

just kIddIn..

ME: yaay..!! you are 26 now.

HER: yaay..!! I am one..

ME: what??

HER: yeah.. I am keepIng the kId InsIde me, alIve..

ME: okhay. your vIews on abortIon are pretty clear now.

HER: *punch*

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

evolutIon...

HER: I feel lIke patrIck star.

ME: who the hell Is patrIck star?

HER:  patrIck star is spongebob squarepants' best frIend forever. he's a star fIsh. and he's stupId.

Me:you are feelIng lIke hIm? how does he feel?

HER: very stupId.

ME: or wIth all hIs fIve hands? you have grown a fIfth lImb, haven't you?

HER: nooo. I'm feelIng stupId.

ME: you went to japan dIdn't you. or was It chernobyl?

HER: huh...??

ME: mutants...!!

Saturday, April 13, 2013

reproductIon


HER: your face Is so rough, why don't you put some cream on It. I have cream. I have johnson's baby. do you want johnson's baby?

ME: no thanks. I'll have my own babIes.


HER:  :|

Thursday, December 20, 2012

of the beast...


HER: what the hell... It's so IrrItatIng..

ME: what?

HER: the wIndow...

ME: what about It?

HER: the sunlIght Is comIng on my face and I hate It.... grrrrrrr........

ME: always crIbbIng about somethIng... frIggIn' vampIres...

Monday, February 27, 2012

defIned...

HER: hey. what's happenIng about your release from the project? when are you changIng the company?

ME: thInkIng about changIng. haven't decIded yet. gettIng released from the project In june though.

HER: woah... june...! that's too far In the future.

ME: yeah.

HER: what's the poInt?

ME: the poInt Is the cIrcle of zero radIus.

HER: *****

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

lost and found and lost...

HIM: so.. whats up wIth the chase...? any advancements yet...?

HE: yeah.. loads.. and no.. none...!!

HIM: what the hell Is that supposed to mean?

HE: Its lIke losIng somethIng that you never had...

HIM: oh...!!!!!

Sunday, September 11, 2011

spoonerIsm..

Her & Me makIng out..

~kIss~  ~smooch~  ~kIss & smooch~

ME:    so..?

HER: amazIng... how dId you get to be such a great kIsser..

ME:    well... a spoon and lots of practIse...

Sunday, August 7, 2011

breakfast...


HER: do you want eggs?

ME: you layIng?

---

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

fIctIon..

ME:    I've fInally joIned gym. one of the thIngs I've always wanted to do.

HER: yeah..??? that's nIce! when??
 
ME:    Its been a month.
 
HER: and when do u plan to start goIng there?

ME:   @#$%^*!

Sunday, January 16, 2011

my foot...

HER: what's your plan for tonIght?

ME: nothIng much. why?

HER: I have to go shoppIng. would you come wIth me?

ME: sure... what are you buyIng?

HER: footwears.. you know.. heels...

ME: you have heels..

HER: yeah.. but they are low and mId heels. I want hIgh heels. 5" thIs tIme...

ME: why? do you have shelves you can't reach?